i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I enjoy the company of your penis
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
