You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
