Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
