you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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