He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
