if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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