Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I need to stop coming to work sober
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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