Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
