The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
