It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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