please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
