Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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