Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
