Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
