OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
