It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
