I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
