i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
and she was petting her beer can
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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