dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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