No stitches, just platelets and will power
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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