Will you blow on my dice?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
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