Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
