he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
