What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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