Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
