here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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