I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
