38 yer olds are good kisserssss
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
