I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we're making bets on your personal life
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
