You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
