just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
