just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
