everyone is single if you try hard enough
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
