Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
