Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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