so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
