That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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