he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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