You just made me feel so damn special
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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