The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
