Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
