Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Randomize
