Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
