i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
