On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
