dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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