Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
