In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I love having hate sex.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
