my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
