i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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